Having an affair is not even on your radar. Never gonna happen. You love your
spouse and you’d never be unfaithful to her or him. However, you may be unaware
of other ways you are being unfaithful. If these actions continue, you may find
yourself on the slippery slope that leads to that
1. Flirting Having a little playful fun at the office with a co-worker can’t be
too bad, you may rationalize. After all, flirting is fun. Avoid it like the
plague. It’s dangerous. If someone flirts with you, ignore it. What falls into
the category of flirting? Here’s one explanation of what flirting is. “[It]
usually involves speaking and behaving in a way that suggests a mildly greater
intimacy than the actual relationship between the parties would justify, though
within the rules of social etiquette, which generally disapproves of a direct
expression of sexual interest. This may be accomplished by communicating a
sense of playfulness or irony… Body language can include flicking the hair, eye
contact, brief touching, etc.” Married people should never engage in this type
of behavior with anyone other than their spouse. It is a full-on form of
unfaithfulness that leads to no good. The one you’re flirting with may take it
as an invitation and pursue a relationship you never intended.
2. Confiding in
the opposite gender When you pour out your troubles to someone of the opposite
gender you are putting yourself in a vulnerable position. It may seem harmless.
After all, you just needed a shoulder to cry on. If you’ve got a problem, talk
about it with your spouse. That’s your best-ever shoulder to cry on. If that’s
not working for you, try a trusted relative, clergyman, or therapist. Not
someone who may consider this an invitation for intimacy. Even if it doesn’t
start that way, too often it ends that way. It’s a form of unfaithfulness.
3.
Spending time alone with someone else What appears to be an innocent lunch out
with someone of the opposite sex or stopping by for a chat at that someone’s
home without your spouse is definitely in the category of unfaithful behavior.
You or the other person may say, “Hey, we’re both adults. Nothing’s going to
happen.” Well, things do happen. It’s not appropriate. Go home and spend that
time with your spouse.
4. Talking negatively about your mate When you are a
true friend to someone you never say bad things about them to others. Your mate
is your best friend and is the last person you should ever talk about
negatively. If you have a beef with your honey, talk it out with him or her.
Let your conversations with others focus on the good things about your spouse.
That’s being faithful. The exception here is abuse. If abuse is happening it
needs to be reported to a trusted friend, counselor, and the police. You must
keep yourself safe.
5. Chatting on the Internet with someone of the opposite
sex If you think this is harmless, think again. It may start out that way, but
it definitely won’t end that way. Some have engaged in what they considered
innocent talk with a former boyfriend or girlfriend from high school or college
days, or even a stranger. One thing can lead to another and before you know it,
your marriage is in jeopardy. Don’t do it. It will only end in sorrow and
heartbreak for your family.
6. Dressing to attract the attention of someone
other than your spouse If you’re dressing up to look good for someone else, you
need to reexamine your motives. Trying to attract someone else by wearing a
sexy looking outfit is one more way to jump into unfaithful waters.
7. Writing personal
intimate notes or letters to someone else If you’re writing a letter of
condolence or congratulations, or other good wishes, let it be from both you
and your spouse. Then there will be no misunderstanding about your intentions.
8. Not being a willing sexual partner with your spouse Being faithful to your
spouse means giving yourself over to him or her to enjoy the intimate side of
your marriage. To withhold sexual intimacy from your spouse if not doing your
part in keeping your marriage strong and fulfilling. It creates sorrow and even
suspicion. Being a faithful spouse means doing your part to make it a beautiful
relationship in all aspects.
9. Putting your parents before your spouse Your
spouse must always be the number one person in your life. If something
wonderful happens to you, like a promotion, a confirmation of a pregnancy, or
any other good news, you may be tempted to immediately call a parent to share
in the joy. Resist. Let your spouse be the first to know your good news. Then
share it with others.
10. Putting your children before your spouse Kids matter.
They are very important people in your life, but not more important than your
spouse. If you knock your spouse off the top of your priority list you are not
showing total fidelity to him or her. Your mate must come first. Not only does
it cement your marriage and make it stronger, it gives your children the best
security blanket they will ever have. Check yourself on these points and make
sure you are being 100 percent faithful to your spouse. By doing this you will
create a genuinely happy and fulfilling marriage.
By Gary and Joy
Lundberg\Familyshare
No comments:
Post a Comment