#1. I call these ones “Resolution Women.”
It’s their resolution for every New Year to get married before the year
ends. Usually, they are desperate. Their time is limited and can’t
afford to waste a lot
of it in dating. Immediately you go for them,
you’re not a boyfriend. You’re a husband. A husband who has to be
groomed in a short spell of time to be ready for the big occasion. You
wouldn’t know but to them, you are the husband. As a result, you have to
mature quickly into the new role they are preparing you for.
To them, every conversation is a marital
conversation. You are expected to even communicate as a husband. Expect
to answer questions like; “when are we visiting my parents?” “When are
we going to see the pastor who prophesied about our marriage?” “Don’t
you think it’s better we started buying the engagement stuff? Meanwhile,
you’ve dated for only one month. If you are thinking long term with
respect to marriage, then it’s going to be agony for you.
#2. Here the lady is not working. Her job
is the relationship. Her office is in love. She sees the proposal
process as the job interview. Immediately she says yes, she’s employed.
Her next paycheck is going to come from you.
You pay for everything on them. Hair, manicure, dress, makeup, and boobs
jack (whatever that is) Expect to answer questions like: “why don’t you
buy pizza for me when coming?” “Kofi, when are you going to send me the
money you promised?” When should I come over to pick the cheque for the
rent? That’s where all your money goes down the drain.
#3. These ones don’t allow touching. You
won’t touch because everything on them is for their future husband. They
don’t see you as the future husband yet because you haven’t made any
concrete move to prove your marriage intentions. But guess what, they
reserve the right on everything in your pocket and wallet. You can’t
touch now but you’ll pay now.
You’ll pay but you won’t have any right to erections around them. You
can’t touch, you can’t kiss, no sex but you’ll pay money for her
expenses. If you don’t pay, it means you don’t love them enough. You’ll
usually hear them say; “True love is not about sex oo.” “If we have sex
now, on our honeymoon the sex will lose some spark?”
“Pre-marital sex is
a sin against God.” Pre-marital expenses can’t be a sin. It’s
classified under giving as the bible said “there’s more blessing in
giving than receiving. So who knows, you have to keep paying without
expecting for your blessing is in heaven.
#4. These ones haven’t been in a relationship for so long. At a point,
they might have given up on the relationship all together thinking no
man loves them. In the process, they develop the mindset that there
might be something wrong with them that drive men away or simply they
are not good enough. Their confidence is less than an inch tall. They
give up on themselves. Retreat and keep living in the shells of their
comfort zone.
Then you came along. You managed to make them fall in love with you.
They see you as their saving grace and don’t want to do anything wrong.
In the process of trying not to do anything wrong, they do all things
wrong.
You’ll have to coach her confidence because she had none. Every other
lady friend of yours is a rival. If she sees you walking with a taller
lady, she feels you don’t love her because she’s not taller. Expect to
answer questions like: “is it because she’s fairer than I am that’s why
you like her so much?” “That lady I saw you walking with, what does she
have that I don’t” “OW so you like slimmer ladies, why did you then come
to me?”
#5. I call these ones “Walking History Books.” They’ve been in several
relationships that didn’t work. They’ve been hurt, broken and left to
die. Somehow, their heart kept surviving all the heartbreak they’ve gone
through. And their minds are keeping the mental pictures of all the
relationship they’ve been in and all the bad things that happened, why
they happened and how they happened. They haven’t given up. They still
love to try again till they find the true love.
The problem is, when they are with you, they will assess your movement
using their past relationship history as the yardstick. In the end, they
make you pay for the sins of all the guys that disappointed them.
Yeah, they’ll torture you with the history lessons of their love life.
They usually say things like; “That’s what my ex did when he wanted to
leave me, and you are doing same.” “Yeah, you men are all the same. When
I caught my ex, he gave the same excuse that you’re saying now.”
Everything you do is measured by the history of the exes.
#6. These ones have been loved by the best before. Her previous guy was
the best thing that ever happened to her. He was sweet, caring,
romantic, sexy and all the good things bundled in one. If you hear her
talk about the guy, you might think she’s referring to the coming
messiah. But Something, as she’ll often tell you, beyond the control of
both of them made them break up. So as these ladies move on in life,
they are looking for the replica of their past love fantasy. Whoever
they find should better look like their ex or they’ll try to mold you
into their ex kind of a guy.
Oh yeah, you’ll never stop hearing them telling you what their ex would
have done in certain situations. It’s not about you. You are in a
relationship to learn to be her fantasy.
You should get used to sayings like; “Why didn’t you buy it for me? If
it were to be Kojo my ex, he would have bought even twice of that for
me.” “You are not caring at all, if it were to be Kojo my ex, he would
have passed through the ocean at dawn to come pick me to the program.”
You better start looking for Kojo to learn his ways or you won’t
succeed.
#7. These ones are my favorite. They are my favorite because of the
drama they bring to life each day. I love drama. I call these ones
“Owners.” They don’t want to own your wallet or own anything material.
They only want to own you. At first, it sounds lovely until you realize
they don’t want to own only you but also want to own your very
existence. They should have access to your very soul to know what’s
happening there. With them, you don’t have to have a password to
anything. Now you’re getting the clearer picture of the kind of
ownership I’m talking about here, right?
They always want to know everything concerning you. In the end, you’ll
have nothing to cover anything. Everything should be left bare for their
assessment.
Expect to answer these questions; “Who is this girl who called you this
morning and spoke for one minute, thirty-one seconds? This question
usually comes when your phone is in her hands. “Where was I when you
were taking this picture with that lady?” “Why did you leave 6 grains of
rice in the plate, is the food I cooked not nice?” You better not
stutter when giving answers to such questions or else you are in
trouble.
#8. They are cold like cucumber so I called them The Cucumber. They love
you and then nothing you do seems to affect them. When you are wrong,
they know it but won’t say anything. They don’t argue. They don’t fight.
Theirs is life as usual. Sometimes the guilt on you becomes too much
because you know they know your cheating behavior. You know they know
your evil ways but these ones won’t talk about it.
One day…when everything seems right and calm, they just tell you it’s
over. That’s the only fighting word you’ll hear them say all through the
relationship. When they say that, nothing changes their mind. Nothing
means nothing. You can give them a piece of the sun and that won’t
change their mind.
You always feel guilty. They don’t give you the chance to explain or lie
about your wrongs. So you always have a pent up guilt in you.
Expect to hear annoying things like this…Nothing! They don’t say much.
#9. These ones hardly show care. They tell you they love you but it
never shows in their daily dealings with you. Usually, they don’t want
to be emotionally reliant on a man. They won’t call you until you call
them. They are not the type to come crying on your shoulders when things
go wrong. They are very opened. They are too opened they see their
relationship as nothing to hold them back. These ones don’t have time to
brood over the relationship gone bad. You leave them today, tomorrow
they are chilling. They are not scared to lose you. You are the one
scared to lose them.
You are never certain about them. Their love comes in glimpses. Today
they give you a reason to believe. Tomorrow they take that reason away.
You are never certain with them.
Expect to get used to being told: “Do whatever you want, I’m cool with
it.” “Ow naaa, don’t come over, I can handle it.” “Thank you but I’m ok,
don’t worry about me.” They are always ok. Nothing makes them want you.
They make you feel inadequate and not wanted as a man till you give up.
Source:Tv3news
Source:Tv3news
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